Please if you have the telephone number of Hajia Abibata Zakariah, an NPP parliamentary aspirant for the Yendi Constituency and Deputy CEO of MASLOC can you give it to me? I want to apply for the loans some for a group of farmers I lead in the Bole area. Her explanation for sharing GHC1m in cash to her constituents at this time is very laudable. So I also want to take advantage of it to help my people.

By the way, Madam Hajia, apart from Yendi which other areas in the Greater Northern Region (Northern, Savannah North-East, Upper East and Upper West regions) have benefited from this arrangement? This is just a question. I want people to know that your action is not politically motivated. That you’re not taking undue advantage of your position as your opponents are alleging. I can see you’re my niece, at least we bear the same family name, Zakariah. So I want to ensure that Farouk Aliu Mahama does not create any “eyesore” in Yendi by soiling your name in your competition with him. You get the point?

My friends do you know that in politics those down copy from those at the top? So let me go and greet Hajia’s big man and come. You know pensioners like long talk and digressions in conversation so indulge me small. Just be patient and listen to me, I want to talk to Chairman Blay.

Good morning Chairman Freddy Blay. Please boss, how are the buses performing at the constituencies? I’m asking because I have some elephant rider friends, who are constituency chairmen and who are very stingy. Anytime I visit them they don’t give me anything for transport even though they know that I’m a pensioner with an infinitesimal monthly pension. I suspect that they don’t want me to know they’re making money from the transport business you set for them. That’s why they don’t see me off properly. So your answer will help me deal with them the way we deal with stingy friends.

Yes, Chairman one more thing. The other day I over heard some potential voters discussing something I thought I should let you know. They said Covid-19 or not they will do everything possible to register when the new voter’s register is being compiled. According to them these days the voter’s card is gold, that it’s ligidi, cash. That any party that will want their votes will have to pay.

I have not bothered to inform any other party chairman because in the discussion I overheard them mention that the other parties cannot pay. That as for them they will not go and follow the opposition or any party that cannot pay. I see this as both bad and good news for you. Good news because you have potential votes if you’re prepared to pay and bad news because, like Calabar two-two, harlots I mean, their principle is cash na hand back na ground.

So you see you need to know in advance so that you can raise the Haruna Esseku Taxes for the party to earn some money. “Part hia sika”. It’s looks like the galamsey approach to get money for the party has too much wahala especially from the umbrella family. Enherrrhhh. I hope you get the Haruna Esseku Taxes beat I’m talking about?

Oooh Chairman!! You too you don’t remember things!! Are you saying you can’t remember the case in which one of your predecessors was angry at one time because his taxes were being taken straight to the Castle instead of them passing through him? If you don’t remember call Raymond Archer, the man who’s factory or Printing Press was recently demolished at the Trade Fair site. He knows all about that story. But Chairman, is it true that Raymond Archer’s factory was demolished for the following reasons?

I hear one of the reasons was that the Trade Fair Boss lady suspected he was manufacturing multicoloured umbrellas and printing T-shirts with umbrella embossments at the facility. That he, Raymond Archer, failed to realise that elephants never forget anything in their life time. That if you harm them in anyway they will pay back even a hundred years on when they get the chance. Worse of all he also failed to realise that elephants are agitated at the site such type of umbrellas and he went ahead and was manufacturing them on the breeding grounds of African elephants. So they had no option than to demolish it. It’s to serve as a lesson to all not to mess around elephants or their riders. This is what was allegedly the reason for the demolition.

Anyway enough of the digression. So as I was saying my people in Bole also need the MASLOC loan some. So friends help me get Hajia Abibata’s phone number so that I can book an appointment. I like the sight of the mint money she was sharing. Look at the picture below and you will see the fresh cash that I’m talking about. I’m off.

Have a great weekend.

By Mr S.A. Zakariah
(The Pensioner)

23rd May, 2020.

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